Cleat Geeks

NBA Top 10 Thursday: Top 10 Weirdest Mascots

You know as a kid, clowns were always really creepy? Well, clowns have a bit of competition these days. Mascots are a fun and time honored tradition in sports, but in the NBA, some teams have gone the extra creepy, Five Nights at Freddies route. Here are my top 10 weird NBA mascots….



Number 10: Clutch The Bear: Houston Rockets

This guy right here is somewhat disturbing. For one, he doesn’t look anything like a bear, and another thing is that creepy smile he has on his face. When you think of sports mascots, you don’t think of a reject from Disneyland. Plus his name, what exactly is he going to clutch? Hmmm?


Number 9: Go the Gorilla: Phoenix Suns

This one is bad, very very bad. It looks like a $20 Halloween costume you buy at one of those temporary costume shops that springs up in old super market buildings. What’s even worse is the creepy look that is permanently adorned on his face, a look of that no matter how cheesy, still can send chills into the souls of every person who sees it.


Number 8: Franklin the Dog: Philadelphia 76ERs

Oh the harmless dog, why would this be creepy? Well, if you have vision you can see why.

From his awkwardly shaped face, to his eyes that seem to look right into your heart, the 76ers mascot is one that we could do with out.


Number 7: Jazz Bear: Utah Jazz

When your team name is a style of music, finding an appropriate mascot is a challenge. Whoever came up with this one though hit a sour note. He looks like a possessed Chewbacca. Mascots should not look like something they chase on Monster Quest.


Number 6: Slamson: Sacramento Kings

I’m starting to get the feeling that some of these are just recycled movie costumes. Gorilla looks like an extra from Planet of the Apes, Jazz Bear is Chewbacca and this guy would be an evil Lion from the Wizard of Oz. The lack of visible eyes and the odd expression on it’s face are the things of nightmares. Imagine running into this walking home at night…….


Number 5: Sir CC: Cleveland Cavaliers

You can speculate why LeBron left Cleveland, but we know the real reason. This insanely creepy mascot. I mean look at it. I don’t know what circle of hell this thing came from but I’m sure most Cavs fans would like it to return there. As if they aren’t going to suffer enough this year.


Number 4: Coyote: San Antonio Spurs

For those of you who understood the Five Nights At Freddie’s reference from the beginning of this article, this one fits it perfectly. Those glowing green eyes look like something you would see in a cheap horror movie, cheesy enough to laugh at yet still terrifying. Being the Spurs mascot, you can’t help but wonder what he does with a set of spurs in his off time……maybe we shouldn’t.


Number 3: Bango the Buck: Milwaukee Bucks

Picture if you will, you’re walking through the Wisconsin woods, clouds obscure an already dim sun… You hear a rustling in the black trees, you stop and look around, already you have made a fatal mistake. As you stand there in fear, he pounces on you…..congratulations, you have just entered the twilight zone…..

I think Rod Serling would approve.


Number 2: Mavs Man: Dallas Mavericks

There is so much wrong with this, I could do a whole article on it. From the scary face, to the basketball skin, in the immortal words of the internet, “this ain’t it.”  We all know the Mavericks gave up on winning a long time ago, but now we know where they put that energy….into scaring the life out of their fans.


Number 1: Benny the Bull: Chicago Bulls

Out of the fires, he arose, this mascot looks like he should be hell’s mascot, not Chicago’s. From the fiery red hair, to the look of murder in his eyes, and the blood tipped horns that have probably ended many way before their time, Benny had no choice but to be number one on this list. If you see him coming for you, say your prayers……


Having trouble sleeping now? I don’t blame you, so why don’t you hit me up on twitter @GeeksportJosh and let me know what you’re thinking. If not, sweet dreams……









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